Monday, November 22, 2010

sweet violets

There once was a farmer who took a young miss
In back of the barn where he gave her a -
Lecture on horses and chickens and eggs
And told her that she had such beautiful -
Manners that suited a girl of her charms,
A girl that he wanted to take in his -
Washing and ironing and then if she did
They could get married and raise lots of --

CHO: Sweet violets, sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
Covered all over with seet violets.

The girl told the farmer that he'd better stop
And she called her father and he called a -
Taxi and got there before very long
'Cause someone was doing his little girl -
Right for a change and so that's why he said
If you marry her, son, you're better off -
Single 'cause its always been my belief
Marriage will bring a man nothing but--

Sweet violets ...

The farmer decided he'd wed anyway
And started in planning for his wedding -
Suit which he purchased for only one buck
But then he found out he was just out of -
Money and so he got left in a lurch
Standing and waiting in front of the -
End of this story which just goes to show
All a girl wants from a man is his --

Sweet Violets ...

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

history of Bandra

History of Bandra

Bandra was a tiny fishing village inhabited Kolis (fishermen) and farmers.
It was acquired by the British East India Company while the rest of Bombay belonged to the Portuguese.

There was an 18 hole golf course in Bandra called Danda Green with an English style Club House on the top of the hill, surrounded by trees. Membership was only for the British who lived in Pali Hill.. Each cottage had a stable for horses.

Bandra consisted of the villages Sherly, Malla, Rajan, Kantwady, Waroda, Ranwar, Boran,Pali and Chuim. Ranwar also had a tennis court and the famous Ranwar Club famous for its Christmas and New Year eve dances. Most adults in Bandra worked for the East India Company... and hence were called East Indians. In the Bandra of the forties and earlier , large cottages with large gardens were available for rent at Rs 30 a month.

Marriages were celebrated for 8 days from Thursday to Thursday for a Sunday wedding and the whole village was invited. Thursday was pig slaughter day and Friday was to make pappads for drinks, Saturday to make fugias and bring water from the village well to bathe the bride or groom. Sunday was the wedding ceremony and long reception.. Monday was day of rest and to finish remaining food and on Tuesday the feet of guests were washed in exchange for cash. Then farewell dinner on Wed and guests left on Thursday by which time honeymoon was over.

Tradition has it that the suburb was originally known as Vandra or Ape as it was the home of monkeys, then Bandor as the Portuguese called it in 1505, then called Bandera, Bandura, Bandore, Pandara, Bandorah, Bandara and finally Bandra till a railway sign board finalized it at the end of the last century. Salsette was originally separated by a tidal creek which Portuguese called Bandora creek. English changed it to Mahim creek.

Bandra had 2 hills, Mount Mary hill and Pali hill. On 12th Apr 1867 the first railway service was inaugurated with one train per day between Virar and Bombay. Bandra at one time was peopled mainly by East Indians (original residents of Bombay Salsette, Bassein, and Thana), a few Goans and Manglorian immigrants, Parsis, Muslims, Europeans and Hindu Kolis. Till as late as the 30's Bandra had only one bus service from Pali Naka, Hill road to the Rly station. Other people just walked to the nearest Rly station. After World War II the building boom started to accommodate immigrants.

The five oldest roads in Bandra are as follows: Godbunder Rd, which originally ran from Mahim causeway, then skirted Bazaar Rd, went past the Bandra talab (lake) and continued to Godbunder. The Road was later made straight by cutting through the talab. Bazaar Rd began at Godbunder Rd opposite the mosque and ran through the market keeping close to the coast which is now the reclamation.

Hill Rd starting from the station went through middle of Bandra town, past St Andrews to terminate at the foot of the Mount near Mehboob studio. Pali Rd began at St Peters and cut through Pali village till it reached Danda. BJ Rd runs from St Andrews to Lands End, was built by Byramjee Jeejebhoy and opened to public in 1878.

There are over 150 crosses at various places. Many crosses were built to ward off the plague epidemic (1896-1906).The oldest is the one relocated in St Andrew's church compound. Stands 17ft high and made of a single stone. It was originally in the Jesuit seminary of St Anne built in 1610. The bldg was destroyed in 1739 and the cross was relocated to St Andrews church. The surface is carved all over with 39 emblems of the passion of Christ. Bazaar Rd is only 2 km long but houses a Jain temple, Ram Mandir, Hanuman temple, Khoja mosque, Christian chapel and a Sikh gurduwara.

Main roads in Bandra, Perry, Carter, Bullock, Kane, and Bates were named after British collectors and magistrates. Mr Carter was collector in 1924 and Mr Bullock was the Chief Magistrate. Christians in Bandra are mostly of the Koli, Bhandari and Kunbi castes.. The architect of Mount Mary's church was a Bombay architect Shahpoorjee Chandabhoy. The basilica was built in 1904 at a cost of 1 lakh. Also the first time a non catholic was asked to build the church. It was built to serve the garrison posted at Castella de Aguada- the fort at Land's End road. It was destroyed in a fire in 1739 and rebuilt in 1761, the year marking beginning of Bandra feast as it is celebrated today.

The walls enclosing the compound of St Andrew's church were built by a Parsi, Manockjee Sorabjee Ashburner in 1862. It is recorded on a slab on the main gate of the enclosure.. In 1879, Jamsetjee Jeejeebhoy constructed a flight of steps from foot of Mt Mary hill to north side of church known as the "Degrados de Bomanjee" ('Steps of Bomanjee')..

St Stanislaus started in 1863 as a 'Native Boy's orphanage', became a high school in 1923 and was the first English medium school in the suburbs. In 1661 when King Charles married Catherina of Portugal, Bombay was given to England as part of the dowry.. Salsette was not part of this treaty and remained with the Portuguese. In 1739 with the threat of a Maratha invasion, the Portuguese appealed to the British for help and they suggested to the Portuguese to destroy all fortifications around the chapel and the fortress Aguada. However the Marathas took over and ruled for 2 decades. But after the battle of Panipat in 1761, Maratha power declined and the British took over and Salsette including Bandra came under British rule. The Portuguese were left with just Goa, Daman and Diu..

The English found in this newly acquired territory of Salsette thousands of Indian families who were converted to Christianity.. It was from these families the English drew their supplies of clerks, assistants and secretaries. At that time there was hardly a Hindu, Parsi or Muslim who could read Roman characters.
There was also a large influx of Christians from Goa, Karnataka and Kerala and this prompted local converts to take the name of 'East Indians' and form the East Indian Association on 26th May 1887 to distinguish the 'sons of the soil' who were the first employees of the East India Company, from Indian Christians who came from further down the West coast and shared the same names and religion, and vied for the same jobs. Crossing the Mahim creek was by ferry to the industrial town of Bombay. After many boats capsized, a road was built by Lady Jamsethji in 1843 at a cost of Rs1, 55,800. It was designed by Lt..Crawford and opened to public in 1845.

Railway started in 1867 with one train but 6 yrs later it was increased to 24 each day and now 940 trains that stop at Bandra every day.The Tata Agiary on Hill Rd was built by Tata in memory of his wife in 1884.

Monday, August 2, 2010

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift.

She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?


Tweet tweet

The SPARROW Tweets

50 women artists including Anju Dodiya, Anjana Mehra, Bharati Kapadia, Brinda Miller, Jyotee Kolte, Papri Bose Mehta, Sheetal Gattani, Tanujaa Rane, Vidya Kamat, Vipta Kapadia, Milburn Cherian, Kiyomi Talaulicar, Apnavi Thacker, Minal Damani, have contributed their paintings towards a charity raffle for SPARROW (Sound & Picture Archives for Research on Women) called ‘Songs of Sorrow, songs of Joy;’ ) to be held on Women’s Day - March 8, 2010.

Speaking exclusively to ME, Dr C S Lakshmi Director, Sparrow says, “SPARROW (Sound & Picture Archives for Research on Women) has been functioning from 1988 onwards. The Raffle for Art for initiative is one of the attempts to raise a corpus fund for SPARROW which will enable it to be financially free. We have planned a series of efforts to raise a corpus fund and this is the first effort towards that.
SPARROW had planned many exciting things in the past and this Raffle for Art is one more exciting project. In 1992 we planned a painting exhibition in which also many artists--both female and male-- participated. But planning this virtual women for women project has been much more exciting. Anupa Mehta conceived the idea and it has been an exciting journey since then.”
Intimate art works — water colours and artists’ books — have been donated by nearly 50 women artists for the cause. Raffle tickets are priced at an affordable Rs.25,000. A ticket could win you a painting by an eminent artist and the ticket amount would be treated as a donation and will qualify for income tax exemption under Sec.80G(1) of IT Act 1961.

This event for women and by women is conceived and managed by Anupa Mehta. Verve and The Bhau Daji Lad Museum are lending their support to this project.
Write to sparrow.raffleforart@gmail.com or call 2828 0895, 2896 5019, 3040 0166 or 2631 6911 for more details. ---FRANCIS H D’SA

For catlicks only.


AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN:
Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR:
A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER:
A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN:
A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN:
The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE:
Holy Smoke!

JESUITS:
An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.

JONAH:
The original 'Jaws' story.

JUSTICE:
When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELEISON:
The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. (for you non-Catholics it means Lord have mercy)

MAGI:
The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER:
Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)

PEW:
A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

PROCESSION:
The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL:
The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS:
People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS:
The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman...

USHERS:
The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.

Little known facts about the Catholic Church in Las Vegas :
Â
There are more churches in Las Vegas than casinos. During Sunday services at the offertory, some worshippers contribute casino chips as opposed to cash.. Some are sharing their winnings - some are hoping to win. Since they get chips from so many different casinos, and they are worth money, the Catholic churches are required to send all the chips into the diocese for sorting. Once sorted into the respective casino chips, one junior priest takes the chips and makes the rounds to the casinos turning chips into cash.
And he, of course, is known as 'The Chip Monk'.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Last Rite or LEFT

Joseph Mathais, my neighbour of oh so many years lay dying...
AS a good Christian and neigbour I ran to the church to get a priest to say the Last rites so that Mathais may proceed in peace to his Maker, a peace he found hard to achieve on earth with his ever nagging wife fat Claudia Mathais and her three even fatter children all fed on goan Sorpotel and caju feni.

When I reached the Parish office, I politely asked the lady working there if FR Henry or any other FR was on Duty to make a sick call.
"The name is on the board, " she rasped.
"Well it's Fr Henry", I said. "Is he upstairs"? I continued.
"How do u expect me to know WHO is upstairs when I sit downstairs?"
Logic, I thought, except that there was a looking imploringly to be used?
REluctantly she hits the buttons after I pointedly look at the instrument.
No answer.
"He must have gone for his evening jog." she mutters.
" But he's supposed to be on duty ?" I ask.
"Well, there's another 10 minutes to go, and he must have thought that no one's going to in the next ten, so off he went, I guess"", she smiles.

"Is there any other priest, " I ask anxiously.

FR Xavier comes prancing by, in HIS addidas attire and head gear.
"Hi" he says cheerfully,.
"FR there a man dying, can you come ?"
Haha, I'm not on duty you know" or can't you read the duty board young man, " he enquires enquiringly.

Finally I accost Fr Jude after much on the second floor.

Panting, I request and plead him to come with me.

"Who is this person, I want to know " he demands.
" Is he a parishoner ?
" How are you related to him ?"
"Is he really going to die "
"Does the building have a lift "
"Is it raining out now ?"
"Do you have a car ?"
"Will you reach me back ?"
are you a catholic ?"
are your parents catholic ?"
"Grandparents /"...

"Never mind father, Mathais must have already died by now. Mercifully."
I sigh.
"Thank you for listening" I say. As I walk away dejectedly.


"

Sparrow Tweets

The SPARROW Tweets

50 women artists including Anju Dodiya, Anjana Mehra, Bharati Kapadia, Brinda Miller, Jyotee Kolte, Papri Bose Mehta, Sheetal Gattani, Tanujaa Rane, Vidya Kamat, Vipta Kapadia, Milburn Cherian, Kiyomi Talaulicar, Apnavi Thacker, Minal Damani, have contributed their paintings towards a charity raffle for SPARROW (Sound & Picture Archives for Research on Women) called ‘Songs of Sorrow, songs of Joy;’ ) to be held on Women’s Day - March 8, 2010.

Speaking exclusively to ME, Dr C S Lakshmi Director, Sparrow says, “SPARROW (Sound & Picture Archives for Research on Women) has been functioning from 1988 onwards. The Raffle for Art for initiative is one of the attempts to raise a corpus fund for SPARROW which will enable it to be financially free. We have planned a series of efforts to raise a corpus fund and this is the first effort towards that.

SPARROW had planned many exciting things in the past and this Raffle for Art is one more exciting project. In 1992 we planned a painting exhibition in which also many artists--both female and male-- participated. But planning this virtual women for women project has been much more exciting. Anupa Mehta conceived the idea and it has been an exciting journey since then.”

Intimate art works — water colours and artists’ books — have been donated by nearly 50 women artists for the cause. Raffle tickets are priced at an affordable Rs.25,000. A ticket could win you a painting by an eminent artist and the ticket amount would be treated as a donation and will qualify for income tax exemption under Sec.80G(1) of IT Act 1961.

This event for women and by women is conceived and managed by Anupa Mehta. Verve and The Bhau Daji Lad Museum are lending their support to this project.

Write to sparrow.raffleforart@gmail.com or call 2828 0895, 2896 5019, 3040 0166 or 2631 6911 for more details. ---FRANCIS H D’SA

Box:

SPARROW’s objectives are to collect a variety of materials like oral history, audio-records, musical and other sound records, photographs, paintings, posters, drawings and audio- visuals connected with women’s lives and functioning and to generate and conduct oral history recording activities like making documentaries and audio-visuals linked with women’s lives, history and development.